I need to wade back in here sometime and update my profile. What you see below is my profile as of over two years ago. I'm divorced and stuff now. A lot has changed. --
Um, normally this is where one would put personal info, eh?
I am a 25th lvl 2000lb transvestite rodeo stunt midget paladin with a +5 Holy Crusader of Stuff That Burns When You Pee who has procreated. So far, things have been successful and non-damaging with my chosen Intimate Pod-Mate. I also write under the name Steven G. Saunders. Yeah, I like it, too. I've had the name since birth. Pretty cool, huh?
I love bunnies. No, marmmots. No, chinchilas. No, Albanians! No! Wait! Hookers. Yeah, That's it.
Please don't tell my wife about the hookers. Okay?
And I love Gnomes. Well, most Gnomes. Some Lawn Gnomes out there become exceedingly bothersome. Like a rash.
I hate canned beets.
I KNOW that cilantro is a vile foul thing created by Chechen Aquaman fanboys to punish me. Terribly.
I am an essential part of Ronald Ray-Gun's plan to save humanity from (or for?) the Eville Hamsters of Cyborg Doom who hail from an alternate Earth (or a Target store... still unsure) trapped somewhere in Bette Midler's ass. Bitch.
Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.
There is no squirrel.
Living, breathing Lawn Gnomes are REAL! I've seen it with my own eyes...And they're surly too (I think it is because the genital piercings get infected. Poor itchy little guys! Or it could be all the bad poetry). So, beware! And stuff...
My hiney tingles from too much twitchy gaming and comic goodness. Or masturbation. Or salsa dancing. Or Livejournal.
Eh, I'm not sure, really.
What else is there to know...?
Other than that there's a teeny, weeny midget trapped in my ass (not Bette Midler's ass), clawing lovingly to play more Xbox or Hackmaster or D&D or PC Games (they steal my SOUL!) or read comics or something.
Did I just use the words "clawing lovingly"? Egads. That's just pants. Pure pants. It's amazing people let me write for them.
LET THE GALAXY BURN!
I like writing funny books, and here are a couple of titles I'm working on currently...