Tags: bullshit

Judge Dredd

Politics Shmoliticks!

I hate politics. I really do. I feel that politics (American especially, since I'm, you know, American) is comprised solely of scum and people I wouldn't piss on to save them from dying in a fire.

Okay, maybe I would piss on them. What a good citizen I am.

I feel that anyone who runs for President of the United States is a piece of shit by default. "Oh Steve, you're so cynical," you say. No. I'm just calling it how I see it. Only assholes involve themselves in politics. Edited to add: Alright, I might be a little cynical. A little. Stop laughing, you jerks.

That said, I still vote; which means I have to pay attention to these assholes occasionally. Trust me when I say I would rather be putting my dick through a woodchipper than have to listen to their non-stop mewling and constant begging for money. Lie after lie after lie. It's kinda like being raped into oblivion. Nevertheless, I slog through the vast expanses of bullshit to see who's doing what and who will get my next-to-worthless vote.

I heard there was this thing which sounds like a Jeff Walker side-project going on in Iowa recently. Iowa is a state that no one gives a crap about, probably, just so you know; which in this "Let's hate Britney! The WHORE!" society we live makes perfect motherfornicating sense. There were numbers bandied about and percentages spewed like vomit from Linda Blair's mouth.

Yeah, I'm really cool for saying that. Shut up.

Some greedy pieces of dogshit stayed in the "race" while other vile examples of "people" bowed out. Oh, the drama. Anyhow, I'll sum up my thoughts on the ones who remain. The true winners of our money and drooling adoration. Or money-shots to the face. Whatever.

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Now I need to take a shower. Ick.
John Constantine

A Rant Follows This Subject Line

I'm extremely pleased that I live in a country that described one of my least favourite countries (read: medieval dictatorship) as "barbaric" as opposed to the one that said their actions were "astonishing". Read here to be caught up to speed.

Really? Astonishing? "Astonishing" is a word that sounds stupid when it's used to describe the fucking X-Men, but sounds especially daft when used in response to a country that should be invaded for sport, let alone over being some of the biggest assholes on the planet. Mind you that this latest thing is just another item in a long laundry list of Why Saudi Arabia Blows Ass.

And some people say we should stay out of their country's affairs and let them do as they please? Fuck them. Seriously. They can die in a fire. Saudi Arabia is a throw-back to a time that is best left in the history books, folks. I bet these jag-offs saying we should allow Saudi to continue on with their culture (read: Kultur) would flip the fuck out if they ran an open slave trade and murdered minorities without-- oh, wait. Nevermind.

I suppose everyone and their bionic marmot assassins have talked this thing to death. But you know, it just manged to piss me off again and it simply baffles me that anyone in the "free world" would call these motherfuckers "allies". It's bad enough someone was sentenced to lashings because they were raped, but THEN they get an even worse punishment because they got media attention. Hey, Saudi Arabia, here's a fucking clue for you: Maybe if you stopped doing what is obviously sick, sadistic shit (no matter what background you're from) people around the world would leave you guys in peace to play "Petty Royal Rulers" with your "loyal subjects" and swim in all of that money countries give you for the stuff you have, including top pilgrim hotspots like Mecca and Medina. Come on, you just know they make mad cash off them pilgrims. Islam is no different than any other large modern organised religion at it's core. Money is money, after all. Gotta make that ship run tight and it would be insanity to not profit off of it. Right? Anyhow, yeah, it's insane that these people have allies in the Free World (as its called).

What's that? Ah, you're right. Buyer beware when you have the best freedom money can buy. I should always take care to remember that. Thanks. Silly me.

Maybe the people will revolt one day and then the French and Russians will be topped in Bloody Revolutionary Carnage. Normally I would say that'd be tough... But I'm a hopeful sort.

Since I'm on the socio-political kick, I would like to extend a hearty congrats to my Australian friends on showing that Howard guy just how awesome you are as a people.

Ooof... I woke up early. It still feels like early morning. I need more tea. You know, I drank coffee for the first time in four-and-a-half years the other day and I have to admit it was pretty damned cool...
Rogue Trooper

Draft College Republicans

This video was quite amusing, I thought.

It captures that attitude I've hated most of my life-- "Having a war is great as long as I don't have to fight it."

People that encourage & support wars but aren't willing to fight it themselves are fucking assholes. Period.

Anyhow, I'd love to bash on some Democrats, too, but they just don't seem to be as douchebaggy as Republicans. I mean, seriously, it makes me look all anti-Republican. I'm not anti-Republican... I'm anti-Asshole. See how that works?
Democrats and other politick-bent folks are assholes as well, make no mistake. It's just that Republicans seem to be full of Asshole Win or something.

(Please note: I'm only really referring to those who are very politically active to be assholes. I really don't care which party you may or may not belong to. It's a "free" country. Knock yourself out, I say. I won't hold it against you.)

Any Republicans care to comment? And don't give me that "liberal media" line. I'm just curious to hear what someone of that political self-identity would have to say. I'll be kind, for I hate all the money-grubbing parties quite a bit across the board.

Also, people who say "Excuse you" should be dipped in paint stripper fined $1000 and have their birthdays taken away. I hate people that say that, especially when they say it in the manner depicted.

Although the interpretive dance thing is odd, I think he does it to get people's attention.

As for me, I have an actual health problem. I was in the process of  joining the Air Force when I got sick and was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. Sadly, this made me combat unready and globally undeployable. I really wanted to rescue people or do things behind enemy lines. Shit happens, I guess. So I went to college and met political types much like the ones you see in the video. Nothing really changes.

Bright side is I don't have to be involved in the current Defense Contract Orgy in the Middle East. Still, if I were in the military, I would do my job and all that noise. And I would hate college Republicans saying shit like "We have to fight them there so we--"

Oh, fuck it. Finishing that sentence would make me need to take shower again today.
Judge Dredd

We'll Always Have Paris

Fuck her-- get pissed over this:

Bush commutes Scooter Libby's sentence.

As tzeentch4740 titled his entry: "From the 'Who didn't see this coming?' Dept."

Now... Do you actually think Americans will flip out over this as much as we did over Paris Hilton?

My magic stuffed gnome says--

"Have a happy 4th, indeed."

Smell that?

Judge Dredd

Mrs. Edwards vs. Ann Coulter-- FIGHT!

The bloodsport is here, kids!

Thanks to etherpunk for the link. And as I commented in his lj, "Getting political takes and opinions from Ann Coulter is like reading All The Rage to determine the proper course of action regarding the economy of the Ukraine".

Why? Because it's so true it's scary.

I have to say that I was hoping for more of an ass-whoopin'. Someone needs to take on Coulter that will be angry and cutting. Heck, I'll do it.

(I just remembered that Mrs. Edwards has cancer... Taking that into consideration, she kicked some ass)

To make me feel better, I drooled over this item that is being released around my birthday:

That's right. The Captain America Omnibus covering Ed Brubaker's first 25 issues of the current volume of Captain America. Plus Winter Soldier: Winter Kills and the 65th Anniversary Special. And all sorts of extras!


Read more about it here.
Deadpool Tacos


Hey, anyone see that new lj comm... what is it... goth_macros?

Ha! Funny!
Well, some of them, anyway.

(Some of them are/were REALLY funny... I wish I had printouts to show some of the more annoying goths that, well, annoyed the fuck out of me when I worked at nightclubs)

Eh? What's that?


Now I hear it's no longer cool.
That was quick. Shit gets uncool so fast these days.

(and yet people STILL request Sisters of Mercy... But I digress...)

I'm so slow with these things. I think it's best I stay out of the cool internet kids' pool.

Crap. I just peed. Someone do a macro of me saying that.

How about the Milan Brittney Lindsey Lo-Pan Hitlon gal?  I heard she was released from captivity into the wilds of her mansion because she had a massive herpes outbreak (shocker, I know), and all that jail overcrowding. To be fair, I will say that-- Ah, hell, who cares?
Judge Dredd

Note to Self and World

Don't EVER go through Vista Print for business cards or anything else. Ever. It seems that they sign you up for this rewards program (even though I never did) and charge your card 15 bucks a month, twice a month. I even called them up TWICE to put a stop to it and they said it was taken care of... but was it? Noooo... Bastards. Hopefully this will be sorted out. But still completely unacceptable.

So, yeah... Avoid them. Bad things.

And now you know...

(I think I've complained about this before. If so, I'm doing it again... Because more charges for nothing always sucks.)
John Constantine

Watch and Get Pissed...

A bit from Mike Daisey's website:

"Last night's performance of INVINCIBLE SUMMER was disrupted when eighty seven members of a Christian group walked out of the show en masse, and chose to physically attack my work by pouring water on and destroying the original of the show outline."

You know, I didn't even know who Mike Daisey was until I saw this. And now I want to check out more of his stuff.
Nice going, radical Xian weirdos! Way to prove a point. This is nothing but good publicity for this guy. Good thing he doesn't suck.

So... How long before they move the bombings and shootings on from abortion clinics & doctors to playhouses and movie theatres? Will I be hanging with my buddies watching Hostel vs. Saw 67 and get shot in the face? Will I be buying a Garth Ennis comic and get kidnapped, held hostage and executed?

How long?

"Freedom of" religion and expression should also include "Freedom from", ja? I understand that many Christians and religious folks aren't like these motherfuckers, but come on, please keep these people away from others. Police your own groups and stuff. Or something. I just don't want to be killed for liking Korean action films.Thanks.

Judge Dredd

Ranty Irritation

You know what irritates me? These guys out there that think just because they went through Military Basic Training (maybe) and they know a few terms means they are Super He-Men with honours degress in Tactics and Strategy. I mean, jesus fucking christ. Get lives. What irritates me more is that many of them run their mouths thinking they're all that. You know, tough guys and all. They usually spew patriotic, flag-waving jinngoist bullshit when most of them will shit themselves if someone says "boo" to them. But, oh! They know everything, because they were in the military, see. Special them. These assholes talk about comradery and brothers-in-arms and all of that jazz while actual, good, decent people in the military get blown to pieces. All that talk means shit when someone is laid up in a military hospital somewhere, wondering what the fuck happened to their life, why their family is crying, why their friends are distressed. It's just talk. They'll say that they'll kick anyone's ass that blah blah blah... But I have yet to see it. I've called some of these tools on it in person, and they just talk some more. I so get denied my punching bag. Lame.

(Just saying that makes me sound like them, though... The mere thought is sickening.)

Hey, I'm a bit of a know-it-all myself, and I'll admit that I'm prone to fits of egoism, but come on. You right-wing whack jobs who think the military is all about "glory" and "freedom" shut the fuck up already. Why don't YOU get blown up? I mean, your IQ essentially qualifies you for RPG and landmine bait. Why aren't you dead or maimed? Seriously, I want to know. How come the decent people have to lose their arms and legs, lose their lives, while you spout insane rhetoric that only drunken voles would ever take seriously?

And what's with all of this Right and Left nonsense, anyway? Do people actually buy into this horseshit? REALLY? Are people that fucking unaware of history and how things have played out for THOUSANDS of years? I mean, at least the Romans and Nazis and Soviets and Mongols and everyone else had an excuse. It's not like Constantine XI could just Google "Turks" and see what was up. Can't see Himmler going "Shit, man, there's NO way this whole extermination thing will work! They'll catch on eventually and our economy will collapse any way we cut it once the war stuff goes sour. Just look at the articles these posters are linking to! They spell doom. Doom!" It's not much of an excuse, but certainly they had no way of knowing like we do. A first grader has more access to information today than the greatest minds of the 19th century did... hell, the greatest minds of the 1960s, even. 

Anyhow, as you can see, I am ranting. Sometimes I do that. But I think people should be allowed to say whatever the heck they want, even if it offends Teh Troops. My father spent most of his life in the military and will defend to the death anyone's right to say he's a piece of shit for doing so. I haven't spent a day in the military and I'll do the same for people that want to say the shit I hate, but I don't have to like what they say. Ironically, these same "freedom/liberty-minded" individuals would have people like my father and I placed in camps or, if we're lucky, deported.

That makes me think of the folks I've heard say "If you've never been in the military, you don't know what it's like". Maybe so. Maybe not -exactly-. But I can read, I can watch programs and talk to veterans. I have a pretty damn good idea what the score is. At one time in my life, all I wanted to do is be in the military. And I came close, too. 2 weeks close. But then I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that prevented me from doing what I had wanted to do since I was very little. Maybe that's why I hate these blowhards (many of whom think they know about history and diabetes, entertainingly enough). They waste something that was given to them and act all high-handed when others who are just there to learn something, be something, are turned into paste, made examples of, thrown into a box and shipped home for mom to cry over. It's bullshit, I tell you. They have a right to spew their crap, but it's still bullshit.

Oh, yeah, and that box I mentioned is kept quiet so we don't get all squirmy while watching American Idol.

I thought long and hard about the dedication I have at the top of my latest ATR column. Mentioning my mother-in-law was easy enough, but I re-wrote the bit mentioning Josh a few times. At first I wanted to include "everyone" who's been hurt in the Iraq War. But that's pretty insincere of me. I know only a few of them. What good will it do? I don't agree with the mess going on. And then saying that leads into "but I'm all for the soldiers", which I am, I guess. In a way. I'm not really for what they're doing, and I'm certain that many of them aren't either. I'm not one of those peace-loving "hippies", either. I'm just burnt on BS and rather cynical... you know, a realist. Something of an anomally, I realise.

Ranting on...

I despise "For the Troops" drives at workplaces where people are basically forced to give expensive gifts to the soldiers our tax-dollars pay for. Not because I hate the troops over there or anything (SEE??), but because they should have everything being provided for them. If they aren't, then why don't we make these rich, lazy, vote-piggish, asshole politicians give them gifts? They really don't need that 4th luxury car, that second mansion, their kids at Harvard, Yale and Princeton. Yeah? I don't think they do. Hey, if they can pay for it: great. But WE pay for it and then we get guilted into giving MORE of our money to those who should be getting it from the government in the first place. ARGH.

So, no, I didn't think that was a good idea. I also changed the part about what happened to Josh. Do my readers really need to know that? I figured those who know him would get it and those who don't care can skim past it. Dedications are like that. They only matter to the people involved. When was the last time you gave a shit about a dedication? Thought so.

I also figured that launching into a diatribe about the events concerning someone that I haven't talked to in years, but still consider a good guy, would be completely unecessary. I wanted to say a lot, as I really do care (even if I don't really know Josh all that well), but it just didn't belong. His life and his choices are not in vain. That's all that needed to be said, I feel. 

Why do I sound like I'm defending myself? That's not what I'm trying to do. I have nothing to defend. But I felt some kind of explanation was in order. Or something.

Man, this post is long. And it goes all over the place. Make of it what you will.

Fuck. I lost an hour! I hate Daylight Savings Time. Now it's even later than I thought it was. I really need some sleep now.

One last thing: All of you who have sent well-wishes to us are terrific people and it brings a tear to my eye to know such fine human beings. 
You make this world a better place.
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Judge Dredd

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Here's a PSA for your reading pleasure...

Don't ever give money to Doctors Without Borders, or really any charity for that matter (Yes, for this post ALL of them. Why not? I feel like being cynical... allow me to indulge myself). Aside form the usual inevitable mismanaging of the money they receive, they will harass you with phone calls, even if you point out that you don't want them to call... like 50 times. Apparently, charities can bother you as much as they wish. What's worse is that if they are phoning for Sharon they just hang up on me. They call for both of us, these evil gnomes called Doctors Without Borders, and they will hang up if the right gender (I assume) doesn't answer. I'm mot kidding when I say three weeks passed where we would get like a couple calls a day.

Anyway, they're not the only ones. At least PBS will stop calling if you say "I'll send money when I want to, thanks". They are the only exception, so far. Fuck charities. Fuck them dead in the eyes. As for Doctors Without Borders, a pox on the persons who suggested them, and I'm sorry if I ever recommended them to anyone else. Truly sorry. Now, this isn't all their fault as DWB uses a marketing company (who's callers SUCK ASS) to bother the shit out of nice people. Still, they are ultimately culpable, and I would like to thank DWB and other charities the world over on behalf of diseased and starving children who will surely suffer a terrible and agonising death... thank you for making me not care.

It's little wonder this world is fucked up, what with these assholes calling people and Captain America crying.

Speaking of Cap, Sharon brought home a "Captain America for President" shirt for me. She thought it went nicely with the Spider-Man shirt she picked up for Drake. See? Best wife in the world. I like to call it "using the money we save from giving to charities for actual good".

(ETA: Okay, not ALL charities are bad... Take Child's Play, for instance. Great thing it is.)