Tags: conan

Judge Dredd

The Post of Posting +2!

I have all these tabs in my browser to remind me of stuff... so I'd best just link to them, post them, love them and all sorts of the Usual Shite.

- Bill Maher's Religulous trailer:

Looks like it will be a blast!

- Thanks to domichan, I about pooped myself laughing last night. "Ever try to pick up a girl, then you find out she has a boyfriend? Watch and learn how to handle various situations like that in this video." Bad language warning for those of you with kids around, or are trying to look like you are doing something meaningful at work.

I like how "cunt" is bleeped out, but not "fuck". I think people who find cunt more offensive than fuck to be rather silly. Are you offended when I say cunt? If yes, then you are silly. See? Logic FTW.

- Someone should start a band called The See You Next Tuesdays. I would buy an album by them, I don't care what kind of music it would be. The name alone would be wonderful.

- Needcoffee.com proves its usefulness yet again by providing us undeserving masses A Short History of the Quest for Elfquest; as in the making of an Elfquest film. Of course, there is new news to be had on a project I, and many others, hope to see on the Big Screen one day. Let's just also hope it doesn't end up like, say, Dragonfuckinglancepukefest. Thanks for the write-up, Widgett. You rule. :)

- I came across a great, yet simple game for all of us old-school computer rpgers out there. It's called Eschalon: Book 1. Go ahead, download the demo and take it for a spin! It's very small. Big thanks to Rick Moscatello, who wrote about it in the latest Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine (#140). Without reading KoDT, I may not have heard of this little gem.

- Grimly fun article: Dying to Get Cheaper as Malta Ends Hearse Cartel. Speaking of Malta, a new friend I'm gaming with is full Maltese (though from Australia, as his folks moved there). He is the first Maltese person I have become friends with, I think... Malta is someplace I would love to travel to with my family, because of its rich history. Knights of Malta, anyone?

- Oooo! Max Payne movie trailer! Thanks, bittergourd! Did you know I knew someone once named "Max Payne"? Too bad his sister was a giant bag of suck.

- While trying to show someone images of
Sláine, I ran across this page. Three great posters I feel I need. I guess I'd put them up in my workout area... But look at them! Judge Dredd, Sláine, and a 2000 AD montage. Brilliant.

- Sharon recently brought home Choice's Russian Caravan Tea. Holy shit, is it terrible! First off, it smells like something is burning mixed with wet cigarettes. I guess it might be okay as camping tea. Maybe. But if this is what any czar liked, then maybe it's best the Russian Royal Family was wiped out. Seriously. It is certainly the boldest of the horrible teas I've been subjected to.

- I'm going to be really proud of the new Orcusville today, mainly because black_happy is busting his hump in the Strip Mine honing a truly remarkable being: Laymur the Lemurian. Oh, yeah. He's bad-ass. And he kills people. You'll see.

- Speaking of black_happy, he writes up an excellent take on how Obama is being skewed by the media, and how the media like to lie to you. I have to admit, people freaking out because Obama has turned out to be, you know, a politician (GASP!!), is pretty fucking funny. Also? He really isn't that bad, and a far-cry better than that motherfucker called McCain. And people still support Nader? Really? Man, that guy is a fucking trainwreck politically. I can understand if some folks I know want to be cool and hip-- but Nader is not the way to go. Furthermore, the faux-election process we have in the States doesn't work like an ASB election. Sorry. I agree about wanting to vote for a third party candidate, but in today's American politics, it's just not going to happen (you know, your ideal electoral reality) for the Royal Election (I'll have to go off sometime about how I feel most Americans just want a monarchy). Elect third-party people LOCALLY. That's where your political opinion REALLY matters. Obama makes a nice spokesman, and he doesn't strike me a completely corrupt (like, say, McCain or Clinton; or a pathetic ego-maniac like Nader or Ron Paul). But hey, different strokes for different asshole Americans-- and I'm no different.

- Oh, and what's up with Jesse Jackson being in the news? When did we start caring again what he thinks? I'm just waiting for him and Al Sharpton to start the Rainbow Church of Money anytime now. Don't worry, Mr. Jackson, you'll get a gold-plated limo, too.

- Conan the Cimmerian #0 is made of 100% pure ass-kickery. It's only a buck, so go pick it up.

That's a lot of stuff. And there's more, but time has fled from me somewhat. I'd like to give props to those of you who are awesome. Stay awesome, okay?
Judge Dredd

Like I needed any more encouragement!

But I came across this great review on the Conan figs I plan on getting. And what do I see, much to my wife's chagrin*? The mention of an upcoming Judge Dredd figure!

(*Sharon is of the opinion "Why get them if all you do is stare at them? What's the point? Why not just spend the money on miniatures? Hey honey, let's get that Otyugh and the box of Kobolds or Skeletons-- your choice! JUDGE DREDD? You want to get another set you're just going to stare at??? ARRGGGH!!! My husband plays with dolls.". Almost surely needless to say, Sharon and I quibble over the oddest things.)

Here, take a look at this excellent, well-written review.

And some images for you to drool over.

Click on the above images to make them bigger! Also, let me know if they mess up your f-list.
Judge Dredd


Hi there.

Today's Orcusville episode is all about Science. Evil, Evil Science.
Come on down and be Blinded by Science.

It does help if you know about some of the scariest rpgs ever made.
And no, I don't mean Chill or Call of Cthulhu. I mean SCARY.
(Really, those jokes never get old for us.)

Here are some other things I've mined from my f-list and other places:

- Will own SOON. Mmm... Conan. I don't buy action figures (or as Juana calls them, "dolls") very often. But once in a while, I have to get them.

- Concentration camps for kids. An old joke for me (because of my certainly annoying habit of making plays on words-- all. the. time). But I still got a good laugh.

- Thomas Doyle makes some of the coolest dioramas I have ever seen. Now dear friend, see for yourself!

- I guess it's really tough to click on vote buttons. Oh, well. I probably sound like a broken record to some folks. Heh.

Hmmm... I thought I had more to post, but I don't. Plus, I have stuff I need to do.

Speaking of stuff, I got Planescape: Torment to work. The widescreen mod makes it look excellent. However, now I have cursor problems with the game. Sigh.

Maybe it's time to reinstall Oblivion.
Judge Dredd


A really great mix of music that fits together really well:

The Kronos Quartet - Caravan
Danzig - Black Aria
The Conan the Barbarian Soundtrack

They work with each other brilliantly.

Good to know.

Now to prepare more for the onslaught of people.
Lemur pr0n with Vis

The usual grip of stuff and things...

Here we go...

- Best story I've read today, and in recent years (provided it is true): Woman comes back to life after rigor mortis sets in. No brain activity for 17 hours? Holy shit! (Update: Some sources are saying minutes and not hours... can anyone get this story straight?)

- Looking for a cool new comic to read? Even if it's manga? I guarantee it's good-- even if you think manga sucks. It helps a lot it was written by Barb and Park Cooper. Check out the whole first chapter of The Hidden HERE.

- A strip for Orcusville was crafted specifically for you D&D fans today. It might have something to do with me flipping through my copy of Liber Mortis earlier... hehe. Anyhow, take a look at Carceri Calling.

- Speaking of that damned webcomic, Demogorgon and Nergal should make their debuts next week. I promise some yiff and lemurs. What? It's true. You just wait and see.

- It's always great to see the same rants and arguments my friends and I got sick of screaming about years ago. I don't mean that in a nasty way, either. I'm just glad to see someone continuing the fight after an earlier generation just gave the fuck up and moved on to other things. It almost makes me want to do something other than make a vague comment in my stupid blog thing. Almost.

- Well, okay... maybe not really. But it did make me think of the old days a little. Jeez... the old days. Those were good times. From what I can remember. This would be a good place to insert a snarky remark involving retarded self-importance and fire. But I'll digress for my own sake...

- Visualise myconid sex.

- You're welcome.

- So what's up with Hillary Clinton, anyway? She sick of getting money the old fashioned bribery way? Does she get paid to say utterly mad shit? Is that it? Hmmm... I would love for one of her supporters explain to me that she is not another Dick Cheney. Or that I should vote for her. And after that, I would like for that same person to scold me for saying "that" so damned much.

- ETA: On second thought (upon some reading up), even Dick Cheney doesn't make fucking stupid remarks like Hillary. Wow.

- You can never have enough Conan. Ever. I mean the Cimmerian, by the way. But I do like that other Conan dude.

- I'm just filling up space at this point.

- Yup

So... done now.

BPRD Lobster Johnson

sunday Sunday SUNDAY

Yup, still sick... But it would seem I'm just on the tail end of it now. Well, I shouldn't say that-- I might get sicker again! Yesterday was just awful. I slept half of it and was really loopy. Today I finally broke down and "took something". I tend to prefer to ride The Sick out with as little help as possible, save from hot fresh-squeezed lemon juice w/ honey, hot tea and water. But today I popped an Advil. A small one, but still. The aches and head-pain are nasty (as it has become a sinus thing now, too! Jeez). It's like having a REALLY nasty hangover. Without the previous fun, of course.

Here's to hoping I'm better tomorrow. You know, moving to a new place = more of The Sick. Couple that with the world's cutest petri dishes? Yeah. Scary! I'll live though. :)

Yesterday I got all confused about the Orcusville comic and if it was Saturday's or Sunday's. I kept switching it around time-wise. Anyhow, I'll just copy/past what I said in the last post (so that folks might catch up if they so desire):

--Sometimes people ask Lord Orcus where the heck the Orcs are in the strip. In Where the Orcs at? he responds to one of the intrepid readers. Let's just say the truth hasn't been stretched! It's just another fun day in ORCUSVILLE.

Yes, this strip was inspired by something my pal </a></b></a>davidgallaher1 said. Take care of that Troupe, man! And remember the feeding rule.

Dear god, please remember.

Don't be afraid to show Orcusville to your friends. It's only known to cause slight temporary insanity and mild blindness.--

Then! We have today's comic. I slaved away in the Strip Mine for a great deal of time* putting it together. It's Lord Orcus... in a fish. You'll just have to see in Sunday Fish Fry!

(*more than 5 minutes!)

In other news...

gdg is a real bastard. Damn evil artist-types! He's made me want and want hard. just look at these figures!:

Great movie CONAN fig.

Figures of the ORIGINAL Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

This would be a great spot to plug gdg and his art. he does commissions, people. I've always dug his style and one of these days I'm going to have to buy something from him. Check out Grant Gould HERE.

Okay, I'm off. Be good. Or bad.
If your bad, take extra bacon. It's the good thing to do.
John Constantine

Comic Babblings

Now, this isn't hate mongering, just observations-- just so we're clear. And I'm willing to bet this has been covered in some comics forum somewhere. But whatever. My opinions aren't set in stone, either. They never are.

I just read (or re-read, really) Spider-Man: Reign, and instead of being impressed with how good it was (it wasn't that good a'tall, to be honest; but not baby-killing horrible, either) I was just reminded of the striking similarities between Marvel and DC. Considering that I'm a lifelong reader "sides-wise" with Marvel-- and that I really don't like the DCU-- I was quite... bothered.

But what else is new?

- Starting with Reign: It's Marvel's version of Batman: Dark Knight Returns, but with Spider-Man. Check.

- DC runs one of the only things to seriously compete with Marvel's dominance-- 52, an excellent weekly comic with a rotating creative line-up. Marvel consolidates the Spidey titles to do a weekly Amazing Spider-Man... with a rotating weekly creative line-up. Check.

- Both seem to like to do Cosmic Events! titles/crossovers/whatever that everyone I know pretty much ignores except for rabid comic book nerds and news hype sites. And maybe me. Check.

- Marvel killed off Captain America, just like DC killed off Superman (well, not JUST like-- you know what I mean). Cap is replaced with someone who wears the uniform... Bucky, in fact (just like I called it). This reminds me of Death of Superman even more for some reason, except Bucky wasn't there to replace Superman. Too bad, I say. Anyhow, Cap will be back, just like Superman was. I have my ideas, but I don't want to say as it's been tainted by fo' realz knowledge. Check.

- Quesada seems to be the DC version of DiDio now. Poor guy. I mean, he's never been TOO popular, but nowadays the hate is quite rank. Can you smell it? Fuck, it even wafts harder than that unwashed "been at the keyboard too fucking long" nerd smell. I don't hate Joey Q, for the record. Dude's doing his job, just like DiDio and everyone else. If I don't like something I don't buy it... and maybe make a post about it talking about how I don't talk about it but then write something to say I really do. What's that? Oh, yeah: Check.

- Do I need to go into how the "MAHSUVE X-OVAHS" tend to come out from both "sides", and that crossovers are the orders of the day these days? Like continuing, non-ending crossovers... Sales FTW. Check.

- Re-boot. Re-boot. Re-boot. Check, please.

That's far from a complete list, I know. I just don't have the time/want to get all into it. You can in the comments, though. I welcome the discourse / discussion / torches / pitchforks. Since I don't have to keep up, I'm not a big reader of "Big Two" superhero comics these days. I do read Cable/Deadpool, Punisher, and a few other titles of that nature from time to time, of course, but I just feel... burned out? Yeah, sure, that works. Didn't take long since getting back into them a couple years back. I guess it's easier to do if I'm reminded of the anti-glory days of the 90s on a regular basis. And hey, more power to you lot that are McLovin' on the new Big Two stuff. Just because I don't dig it doesn't mean you can't.

Also, before I forget, has anyone else here dropped Punisher War Journal? I mean, it was fun at first. Hell, my review of PWJ #1 was still being quoted not that long back in press releases. It kinda makes me feel weird*, as I rolled my eyes into the back of my head a few issues back and gave up. Nothing against Fraction or the art, either. It just... it just reminds me of what happened to Frank Castle... in the motherfucking 90s. Sigh.

Damn you 90s, I can't get away from you. At least I live in a city that is a -positive- version of the 1990s.

The fact that the latest issue of CONAN rocked the house sure makes it so much better, too. Thank you, Dark Horse.

(*No regrets, mind. The first few issues were excellent, I thought.)
Judge Dredd

Savage Tales of Waiting

Alright, maybe not a tale. Just some fanboy-ery and the usual wanktastic shite.

Coming very soon is the WARHAMMER 40,000 RPG. Look, I would be SO lying if I said I wasn't excited about this. Somehow I spaced getting the uber-limited early edition thing, but now I have my money dropships prepped and my power-nerd armour all shined with Battle Sister spit. Honestly, I'm not expecting anything all that amazing-cool. I learned that lesson with WFRP 2nd edition. While I liked the pretty new books for WFRP, I was not all that impressed with what was basically a house ruling of an old system. I still buy all the books and love it, sure, but it's merely "good" and not "ZOMG!!!" like so many have screamed from the peaks of the Worlds Edge Mountains for all to read and hear. What I'm expecting with 40k is WFRP in Spaaaaace!, you know? I'm down with that. I'm curious to see if I did a better job with it a few years ago... hehe. So, yeah, 40k RPG!!! YAY!!! Praise the Emperor's Balls!

And before I move on, it just wouldn't be the same unless the fine denizens of RPGnet weighed in on it a bit. Don't mistake my tone here folks, I actually love RPGnet. I pretty much lurk there, but I read often. I found the thread to be informative, as some who have played the full game have posted. There is some snark, but that's normal.

Another thing that has my boxer-briefs all aflutter is SAVAGE SWORD OF CONAN VOLUME EINS. I was going to go into Cromtastic convulsions because I have to wait until I get to the store... However, based on the one review I see at Amazon.com, I'm a bit scared. Here it is:

"This is one of the worst reprint designed book ever. From the cheapest of the cheapest paper used to extremely fragile covers and worst yet reduction of art was not proportional, but American standard comic size was followed meaning that plenty of art cannot be seen as it goes deeply into the spine gutter! What were they thinking! If you are going to reduce the art [which was bad decision already] then you got to reduce it proportionally so it fits nicely on a page, meaning the book should have been about an inch wider and maybe half an inch shorter. Off course I would have kept the same original magazine size dimensions. Because the art was designed for magazine size, depending on the artist it often is reduced too small and it is not comfortable looking at.

They advertise this book as 7 x 10" but it is not as it is only 6.5" wide [so we lost half an inch of art panels going straight into the spine]...incredibly stupid.

I'm disappointed big time and cannot recommend this book to anyone.

Oh, shit! I'm going to have to give this book a look-see before I buy it. If it's as bad as that I'll weep tears made of pure Stygian hookers. Seriously.

So, two fan-tastic things for me to... enjoy? Good thing I'm getting sick. I should sleep with fevered dreams that keep my mind off of these excessively important things. Let's say it again: THINGS.

On a personal note (well, it's all personal, so I don't know what the hell I mean by saying that): It looks like I've scored issues of Conan the Savage. HUZZAM!