Tags: news

Judge Dredd

Wow. Just... Wow.

Stop me if you've heard this one: Guy gets on a Greyhound bus in Manitoba and calmly kills and decapitates a passenger for no apparent reason.

Well, just watch this clip.

Read about it.

Fucking brutal, man. Yikes.

"Greyhound Drama". Classy, CBC. Classy.

Thanks for the, er, head's up nik_rofeelya .

Tell you one thing: I WILL NEVER FALL ASLEEP ON A BUS AGAIN. Scratch that-- I'LL NEVER RIDE A BUS AGAIN. Better.
Bananas Aren't Scary

Yeah, yeah... I'm here.

Okay, I got violently ill with a flu or something (maybe something bacterial?) monday night, and I still feel like shit-- but not like boiled ass drowned in shit. So that's good. I guess.

What sucked is I became sick while Scott and Juana were here. Thanks to them for taking care of me a bit when Sharon was called into work.

Anyway, enough of that. here are some things of interest, I guess.

- First up, do know that many people who play video games are indeed fucking retarded. So don't look at the comments on the place I'm linking to. Okay? Promise? I'm telling you, they will just piss you off to no end. Here's an article talking about McCain using the Medal of Honor: European Assault score as a part of his advert-wank campaign. Right. And the composer is pissed because he's an Obama man. Right right. Know what irks me? None of these rocket scientists in the fucking comments noticed the following irony (or whatever): McCain says "Only a fool or a fraud talks tough or romantically about war". Got that? Read it again. Let it sink in. Now add the fact that he's using the score of a (ahem) VIDEO GAME ABOUT PLAYING UR DUDES KILLING BASES OF DOODS IN WW2. In other words: McCain proves yet again, this time in a small way, that's he's just a piece of shit who's only claim to fame is that he can be shot down by Southeast Asian folks with the best of them. A feat I'm sure is hard to achieve, right? He musta had to work really hard to earn that. (In fact, he did! It's tough to be a pilot! Which is something I will even give the King Bushes credit for; the Elder One more so-- dive-bombing is serious biness, kids).

- Don't flip me shit. Dude was shot down and captured-- which doesn't qualify him to be in political office in any way, shape or form. So let's look at his other... ugh. Lame. Dude's lame. It was a rough gig in 'Nam for him, yeah. But I bet he was still glad he wasn't infantry. Or a regular "nobody" pilot.

- Enough political yibber yabber. They're all fuckers. Obama is just the one least likely to make me want to cleanse myself with fire after voting for them.

- This happened practically outside my door. Glad everyone lived. Drake got a great show... There were over a dozen emergency vehicles of all kinds. Road is still closed off.

- Someone here posted this choice quote from author Terry Goodkind:

"First of all, I don’t write fantasy. I write stories that have important human themes. They have elements of romance, history, adventure, mystery and philosophy. Most fantasy is one-dimensional. It’s either about magic or a world-building. I don’t do either.

And in most fantasy magic is a mystical element. In my books fantasy is a metaphysical reality that behaves according to its own laws of identity.

Because most fantasy is about world-building and magic, a lot of it is plotless and has no story. My primary interest is in telling stories that are fun to read and make people think. That puts my books in a genre all their own."

My first question: Does Mr. Goodkind have an industrial band? Industrial fans will know what I mean, especially if you are familiar with the whole "We're not Industrial" bullshit made popular in the 90s.

Also: Goodkind, based on this quote, you're a douche. I don't read your books anyway. The only person I know who does is an ex who would probably be better off getting a brain transplant from a half-dead, partially mentally deranged seal. And that's being the good kind of kind. GET IT?

- Yes, yes. Moving on.

- Microwaves blowing shit up. Watch and learn kids!

- Here's a classic: Spellcasting 101. Learn magic! Just like the kind (the D&D kind!) churches warn you about!!1 You rule, Bill.

- 2 Videos you MUST see, especially if you live in the US (though it may work for Canadians, too). Part One is here. Just find Part two from there. The moral of the story? Never, EVER talk to the cops. Keep your goddamned mouth shut. Even if you're innocent.

- Jason is a man. He's a man who does a great webcomic. It's called Hellbent...and for a small price, you can even be in it. Yes! That's right-- YOU!! You who nobody except maybe your mom (and me, of course) cares about. Go to Hellbent and find out how you can be immortalised FOREVER (or something). Plus, you will be supporting the arts. You like art, don't you???

- And let's get caught up on Orcusville, shall we?
Love Under Pain
By Any Other Name

- Free RPG Day is this Saturday! I get more excited about this than Free Comic Book Day, honestly. (Not that I hate FCBD or anything!) Find out if your friendly local shop is participating. Mine is. HUZZAH! Free dice, minis and other RPG stuff? Nine levels of Hells Yeah.

- Holy crap I'm babbling on, aren't I. I also picked up the third expansion to Munchkin. It's nice. I got to play a game of Cthulhu Munchkin before it took off with it's daddy, Scott. Great game. Will be buying it soon.

- Oh, and the new Blood Bowl comic is pretty good... but I dunno about the art. It's almost too "artsy-euro" for my tastes, if that makes sense. Nothin' against the artist personally, but it really distracted from Forbeck's excellent handling of Nuffle's Sport. And wow, take a look at that new Boom site. Nice.

Oof... enough for me here. Being sick and run down has been sucky. It also fouls my mood. Did you know there's a street here called Foul Bay? Whenever we're on it, I always call it Lord Foul's Bay. Heh.

I must be sick.

Note: Shouts out to the various people I nicked links from. wire_mother is one, but I'm so fuzzy headed... well... yeah. Excuses, excuses, I know.
Judge Dredd

Three Things

Two rad. One WTF.

1. New Orcusville! Petty Foggery. I kinda went crazy with the refs in this one. See if you can spot them all. Don't forget to click on those two VOTE buttons you see. It's a really EASY way you can help us out. Did I mention EASY? and FAST??

2. This strip doth slay me:

SCP = Great stuff.

3. It must be Pick on Five-year-olds Month. Check out this fucked up story from ABC. "Ignorant. Pathetic. Self-absorbed." A teacher said this. To a someone who's 5. AND she said worse. Can you believe that???? I was abused in daycare as a kid, so this story rings personally with me (like the last one). Bitch was caught on tape, though. Smart parents (and kid) for the fucking WIN. In my perfect world, we would beat that last teacher I mentioned with this teacher until they turned into Richard Nixon. Then we would set the resulting Nixonganism on fire.


(Thanks to midianmtd for the heads up on this story!)

Okay, some more good news to make us all feel better:

Big congrats to my buddy Christian Beranek and his pals on the deal with Disney!! That's pretty awesome. And no, the oddity of a Zappa working with Disney is not lost on me-- but this is all a good thing folks. Plus, Ahmet is really cool.
Rogue Trooper

I wake up-- I want to kill.

I awoke early today with a really, really low bloodsugar. I hate it when that happens. It means I eat more then I probably should, fall back asleep, wake up later with an elevated bloodsugar level, feel like peppermint flavoured dogshit and have an urge to drink all the water in a 40 block radius.

Foolishly, as Vance and Drake gleefully erupted with their usual playful-yet-moderately-destructive ways around me, I hop online, check my friendslist... all that noise. My eyes felt as if they lived in paint-stripper sprayed sand. I itched a little. A small rodent had taken up residence in my mouth, not forgetting to murder the rodent family who had previously lived there.

I read a Pharyngula entry, in turn reading THIS. I read it again. And again. My sons became silent. It's like they have this instinctual knowing-- some kind of empathic danger-sense-- that allows for them to interpret the blank facial expression hiding my heavily clenched teeth*. They tried not to react when a small popping noise emanated from my jaws. That was a filling, probably.

(It's okay, I have a bunch of them. The results of previous years of not living a life of peace combined with poor dental habits.)

Then I turned to the two beings who mean more to me than anything else in all the universes combined and then some, and I say, "I will never ever, ever do that to you. I love you guys."

After that I went to play with them for a bit.

The part of the article that got to me the most was this:

"Vergin said an autopsy determined the girl died from diabetic ketoacidosis, an ailment that left her with too little insulin in her body, and she had probably been ill for about 30 days, suffering symptoms like nausea, vomiting, excessive thirst, loss of appetite and weakness."

Okay, they don't really describe ketoacidosis the way they should. The article-writer forgot to include that keto is one of the most painful things a human being can endure. It feels like being on fire. This is because the body is burning off fat-cells for fuel and turning the blood into something like an acid compound as a result. I've been told by doctors ketoacidosis is more painful than childbirth and that being set on fire may be better as the victim may have relief when the nerve endings are destroyed. It isn't pretty. And I speak from personal experience. Years and years ago my heart stopped as a result of nearly expiring on a more permanent basis due to ketoacidosis. I have never felt anything more painful. To give you an idea: I still have nightmares from it. I've seen some horrific events in my life, including a young girl decapitated with her brains all over church doors (the result of a drunk diabetic falling into a coma while driving-- pretty weird when you think about it) and that doesn't even COME CLOSE to replacing the night terrors I have of dying from keto. Seriously.

So, how do I feel about these so-called parents who allowed their daughter to die in one of the most horrible ways imaginable? Thinking they could save her with prayers? MOTHERFUCKING PRAYERS?

Those sick, fucked-up individuals should have their other kids taken away, and citizen-swapped with a family from Sierra Leone or some place similar. Let someone else live in comfort who deserves it more. But only after Dale and Leilani Neumann after caned for all to see.

Think I'm kidding?

That little girl suffered in ways most of you have no real understanding of. Only the diabetics and any medical professionals or anyone who's seen their family suffer from keto reading this know my fears. Short of killing those assholes, the Neumanns should certainly have their remaining children taken away.

Yes. They have more. And how do the authorities feel? "There is no reason to remove them. There is no abuse or signs of abuse that we can see."

I have no words.

I still think the article should have gone into more detail about just how horrible it is to die from ketoacidosis... Aside from just dying, people need to know how Madeline Neumann suffered before she died from something that could have been easily-- EASILY-- treated.

I need to go do some stuff so I don't dwell on this anymore.

(*Heh. That bit could be interpreted poorly by folks who don't know me. Rest assured, my sons rarely if ever see me get angry. But they can always tell, even when I try to conceal it. A good thing for Drake, btw, as autistic children are usually oblivious to those kind of subtle cues.)
Judge Dredd


I saw this floating around, and though I really couldn't care less about the Black Crowes, the apparent fact that a reviwer with Maxim magazine has been caught reviewing the album "Warpath" before it was released even though advanced review copies were not made available.

Whew. That's a mouthful-- but you know what I mean.

Anyhooters, I checked some "places" online and noticed that "Warpath" is readily available... should you offer up your soul and swear eternal insurgency against the RIAA, of course.

So, what is it? Poor journalistic integrity on Maxim's part? Or dude downloaded and went from there, assuming there was a review copy floating around? Or something else, even?

I also wonder if there would be this outrage if it was a positive review. But hey, it's one way to get some press. Right?
Judge Dredd

Hey look! It's our ALLIES!

57 men in Saudi Arabia arrested for flirting at mall

Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously? Man, I know Saudi Arabia is just plain fucked up, but damn. I also love the part of the article where it says if these men accused of those heinous crimes can prove they weren't flirting, they don't have to stand trial.

That Saudi Arabia! They are so fair and just.

Yeah. Like you didn't know already.

I'm glad they're helping out in the War on Terra. Flirting can lead to suicide attacks, insurgency against The Good Guys, and worse: enjoying Barbara Streisand*. It can lead to motherfucking horror, kids. So, think of grandma's ashes-- right up there in the kitchen by the oatmeal cookies-- and DON'T DO IT.

And since the possibility of these crimes is a very real, well, possibility, Saudi Arabia has these religious enforcer dudes who will totally kick your bitch ass Grammaton Cleric style should you engage in such harrowing social disorder. Brilliant, no?

Saudi Arabia. Gotta love 'em.
Or not.

(*They do have a moratorium on "pop music" or some completely insane bullshit like that. Where the hell is Ren McCormick when you need him?)
Judge Dredd

Notes from thee SteveILLground

I had a nice hate-fueled post going on as a result of what I read here. But I decided to scrap it and write more of a summary of my irritation...

A link offered took me to a recent blog that initially pissed me right off. I mean, I always despise those Lazy-Large guys who say we Americans should get "tougher" and be more like our "ancestors". Yeah. Because Americans who lived in the 19th Century jumped right into gunfire to be slaughtered. No, they scattered. Not like sheep, of course. You ever seen sheep scatter? It's a slow and retarded process for the most part. If you shot up a bar it would be like sheep scattering. People usually scatter not unlike gazelles running from daemonic mecha-cheetahs. We know this to be true. And then in the original post I was going to rant about how most people with real-life combat XP would tell you to take cover and evade gunfire. Then I would have went on to chastise that mealy-mouthed attention-starved blogger about how Ninjas and Superspies is just a role-playing game. It's not real. "Call up Kevin Siembieda if you have to," I would have said. I would have then moved on to how I dislike it when supposed "right-wingers" tell us we need to be tougher... which would have segued into a joke about how all the tough North Americans live in Canada (which is mostly true-- polar bears and igloos ftw). Then I would have said that the only time you should (try to) take out a gunman without any hesitation (if you are an untrained civilian) is when they are literally gunning for you. If it's a random shooting and the dude is just taking shots at people, I will promise you if you're the one pointing a weapon in their direction they will kill you dead. Then your family and friends will weep on TV. Not like you'd care (part of the whole being dead thing). I think finally I worked in a dig on Ronald Reagan and how he would have fled in a  panic, too. Just like most non-seasoned-veteran people. There's a reason why sergeants have to work really hard to keep fresh ground-pounders in line during combat. Why troops must be trained hard. Simply being armed means nothing. Nothing. It just makes you more of a target for some asshole off his meds. Not only that, but should you participate in a gun-battle in a crowded area, I can almost guarantee you will be helping to at the very least double the body count.

But yeah, blaming liberals for making 'Merica soft? Jesus. Such bullshit. Blaming anyone for that is bullshit. In many ways we are a hardier people (hardier with technology and science). We're "soft" because of this fine standard of living we have. Just look at that blogger dude's picture if you need an excellent example. He lives well.

And he would run like a supposed "liberal bitch" if someone shot at him.

Anyway, I ditched the hate-fueled rant in favour of this nicer one. Between Jack Thompson massacre-chasing for press against videogames to Neo-Con Wanna-be Tough-Guy Armchair-Moralist bloggers, I am filled to the brim with contempt. So I played with my wonderful children some and realised that these guys (should) mean nothing to me. Nothing.

Okay, enough of that.

In other news...

- Bob Bledsaw is dying. I knew of this news a little while ago, but it saddens me deeply. Judges Guild and the Wilderlands are amongst some of the most awesome things to hit gaming ever.

- I neglected to mention that I was additionally saddened by the deaths of Steve Gerber and Roy Scheider. Two great people gone.

- Does Webster know his dad lost the presidency of Cyprus?????

- My friend lothos is a very talented comics writer. Check out his entry here for links to some comics he's done. And you can have them for the low, low price of FREE. Seriously. Do it. Everything from horror to sci-fi to even frickin' romance.

- Huh, I guess Kosovo is jealous of Albania holding the title "Europe's Poorest Nation". You can do it, Kosovo!

- The title of this article made me have a long and cynical chuckle. A disturbing side-- really? You mean aside from shooting people? What could be more disturbing that that? Was he, like, a Paris Hilton fan or something?

- The hints as to what I'm doing keep on coming. Here's a link to something that has, well, something to do with it. Sort of. Read about The Tomb of Orcus, why don't you?

This took forever to do. Whew. Off and on, off and on. Right. Back to moving! :)
Judge Dredd

Oh. Shit.

This is not very comforting:
Real Estate Agent Found Dead in Saanich Home

The place where she was murdered is only yards (not even half a block) from our new home. Seriously. The sad irony is that one of the main reasons we moved here is because Victoria is one of the safest locations of it's population size to live in North America. Now Sharon is worried, of course. We're hoping the killer is caught soon (maybe beaten to near-death a little before being arrested). It goes without saying that our hearts go out to the victim's family.

I do have to say, I found the last bit in the article to be both very funny and incredibly distasteful at the same time:
"The home at 1702 De Sousa Pl. is is described as an outstanding executive home in a brand new upscale small four lot subdivision. It has five bedrooms and four bathrooms."

I couldn't help but laugh seeing it there.

To me this reads "Such a shame, really. So young. And in Victoria, of all places. By the way, speaking of Victoria, the housing market here is booming-- just check out the place where she was murdered! There are more places available near-by if you don't feel like being creeped out over a brutal killing having taken place in your living room."

(UPDATE: See update 2 below)

Anyhow, a terrible thing. I hope that murdering bastard gets what's coming to him.

Update: Nice letter to writer of featured article has been sent. I am just -really- curious why a news story about the tragic demise of a young woman should end with "It has five bedrooms and four bathrooms."

Second Update: That was a quick response! It's apparently an editing gaffe from combining/updating stories (which is can happen with breaking news). My thanks to the writer who responded. :)
Hellboy skull

Stick of Hate: "Jesus. Christ." Edition

I have another minute to indulge in posting, so I think I will. Yeah, yeah, tough. Deal.

This time, how about video games? I was reading this article at GamePolitics.com and that made me click some links and watch a video that made me want to kill. Now, keep in mind: Video games don't make me want to kill-- those twats on that FOX program do. Seriously, I would like to drown them in urine. Read the article on it, which has a transcript and the video here.

I'm baffled. Baffled that Mass Effect, an action RPG, is making the news like this. What's next? Talking about the Princess Rape in Mario Bros.? Because that's about how accurate this bullshit is. I know that in the terms of the Intardnets, this crap is Ye Olde News, but I just have to mention it again.

Once more, with feeling: MASS fucking EFFECT? REALLY? Wow. I wonder if parents groups will go batshit if they find out that in Knights of the Old Republic you discover you're a mass murdering Sith Lord towards the end.

Ah, sorry, spoiler. Hey, if you didn't know, and didn't want it spoiled you should have jumped into the time-machine when I offered.

Anyhow, yeah, no one is protesting World of Warcraft where all you do is KILL, KILL, KILL (as well as having a 72% chance of being a total asshat) and get stuff. Yay! Stuff.

Look, I can see Armchair Moralists taking issue with (admittedly awesome) games where you murder hookers and suffocate people with plastic bags (GTA and Manhunt, respectively), but come on... Mass Effect?

You see what you did with Neverwinter Nights 2, Obsidian? You forgot the elf sex scene where we could have seen a bum (Canadian for "butt")! What the fuck were you guys thinking? Instead you made a game that SHOULD have made the news for ultimately being rubbish (mostly). Although I hear it got better with the expansion.

Sorry, I'm getting off track.

There's the bit in that video with a "panel" (which I guess "panel" in this instance means "people who should be drowned in urine-- twice") giving their "thoughts" (read: mouth-farts) about something they know NOTHING about. NOTHING. They even gleefully admit it. The only person in the video worth mentioning is Geoff Keighley (who rules and rules HARD), and he seems to be a bit confused, probably thinking "how the fuck do these people manage to breathe" and "someone has sex with these fucktards" I'm sure. Poor, poor guy. But hey, that's his job so more power to him. It's too bad he has to deal with a fucking idiot-bitchtard like that woman he was paired up with. And then there's the shit about "parenting". ZOMG! It's so much tougher now!

I have an idea. Let's get into my washer and dryer and go back, say, 15,000 years and tell those primitive assholes about how hard we parents have it these days. Then we'll come back and I'll take that stone spear-head lodged in your FOX-wanker guts and sell it on Ebay for a small fortune, which I will use to produce Mass Effect 2: This Time With Graphic Fucking. Sound good? I'll be sure it's rated T for TWAT; you know, to honour the panel.

Oh, it's so hard to be a parent these days! Always with all that reading and telling your kids what to do. Making sure they don't set the dog on fire or eat the neighbour's pet wolverine. It's SO, SO, SO HARD. I just wish the government would put an end to these sex-games-that-are-not-sex-games. That way I can continue to read Oprah's thoughts on tea leaves while my kid eats lead paint without a worry in the world! In fact, getting rid of these games will make it that much easier to endure child slave labour in order to make those fine name-brand products I love so much. Oh yes, please. Thank you. How can I have my parental job made even EASIER? I don't need to read anything or lock up my chainsaw-face-rape games! Oh, thank you, thank you Moral Assholes. THANK YOU.

All right. I think you get the point.

On the plus side: Mass Effect is getting Mass Exposure. Now if only FOX could catch wind that you can kill LITTLE GIRLS in Bioshock. The possibilities are amazing!

Edited to add: Cooper Lawrence did admit she "misspoke". I guess she thinks this makes her look less the asshole. It doesn't, of course. In fact, it tells me that she was just looking to up her book sales. Now, I've been in situations where I got bad information and reported on it, wanted to apologise, but was editorially hog-tied. I worked hard (well, as hard as time allowed; which meant a few posts somewhere or something and moving the fuck on) to spin it so I didn't look TOO much like a jackass. But at least I didn't just skip in and giggle myself to the top of the "must be beaten with sticks now"-chain. I also made sure to word it like it wasn't exactly fact and only nefarious data, and that anyone reading with a 3rd grade education could understand what I was talking about. But whatever. So, I know some people just enjoy railing on others-- I should know-- but fuck, this Cooper (Cooper? Her parents are -fired-) woman takes the cake. Often.

This goes without mentioning that she writes "pop psychology" books. Ooops. Just said it. You need help? If you got it from one of her mighty Tomes of Stupid then I pity the fool. I pity the you.